Monday, November 25, 2013



A Mural For Myself

 

Don’t Let The Sun Catch You Crying and other undying music seemed to take me by the hand to Camelot after injuries caused loss of memories.

 

When I was a first grader, I was let out early from school with other children that ran into the arms of parents with solemn faces. With no one to pick me up, I quickly learned independence. I walked alongside the quiet freedom of Saint Mary’s Park, the former estate of The Founding Father who came up with We, The People. There were no sweet bird songs, no roar of planes from Idlewood Airport and skies were battleship gray.

 

With my beloved books, I walked long steps of our home and past the milk box next to our apartment next to the door of a white –haired woman, all I had in the way of a doting grandmother. In the living room, I saw Uncle Walter. He took off his glasses to look back at a clock and marked the passing of the country’s first TV president in The Space Age.

 

Super Man died again with a bullet to his head.

 

In crowds of disbelief and swelling grief, John John saluted, as did I and other kids. We put up a brave front. It’s what heroes do. Later on, the better angels of our nature had a dream for the city that never sleeps and beyond borders like that mechanical wing and a prayer called Voyager bringing the blues to the universe. “God bless every one of you on the good green Earth,” said an astronaut after reading the first chapter of Genesis. “And his mother cried,” softly sang The King over a sick baby born in the ghetto. 

 

Live long and prosper, Elvis.

 

You are so cool an American next to John F Kennedy and John Glenn. The coolest that made the boy I was dance to The Jailhouse Rock in The South Bronx of America.

 

It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to.

 

This is for my mother, who worked in a pen & pencil factory.

 

She drew me my first smile.

 

This is for my English teacher who believed I would write The Next Great American Novel. Just write what you know, she encouraged a six grader in The Wonder Years.

 

Easy as ABC and, “3…2…1--- liftoff of Apollo 13!”

 



 
 

 

Friday, November 15, 2013


When I was a little boy, I time traveled by peeling back layers of old carpets to an era where people used newspapers to line wooden floors in The South Bronx. As if handling butterfly wings, I picked up journals yellowed by decades and marveled at the stories.

 

I saw a reporter who used my name as his first and last. He wrote about Joe Di Maggio holding out for more money from the New York Yankees and how he wished Jolting Joe would shout for his net worth as one of the greatest ballplayers in history.

 

Reading ancient articles made them news again and made me feel like I had slipped from the floor to the skies of the 1930s. I was so there walking among the roaring crowd.

 

Strange that I practically live in the shadow of Yankee Stadium and could hear the cheers but never once taken to a ballgame. My mother’s husband was more interested in drinking with his friends and better with their children than he was with me.

 

Childhood melancholy gives way to hitting my first homer to the cheers of teammates in our backyard of scattered grass and cracked concrete and that battered ball flying over the fence was as close as I would ever get to The House Babe Ruth Built.

 

I call this chapter Bronx, Baseball and Beyond. I’m writing this in an attempt to recover memories lost to head injuries. I aim to touch all bases before sliding into home.

 

So far so good…

 

 

 

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Premeditated Media


 
The Persistence Of Memory

 

I suffered a concussion when my head was forced into a brick wall that exploded with graffiti.  Undercover cops came from behind and assaulted me as I walked home after I.S 155 activities that were designed to build character or good citizenship in students.

 

” F**k! It’s not him!” one of them shouted as my bus pass and other ID drifted to concrete like yesterday’s newspapers.

 

A vein of blood trailed down my forehead, as I stood mute in the middle of the entrance of my home building. All I could do was watch them run red-faced to their unmarked car. One of them stopped and looked back as if he wanted to say, “I’m sorry, kid”. Then they were gone. I sat at the edge of my bed with ice pressed to a growing head bump.

 

 I almost forgot my homework on The Underground Railroad.

 

Years later, holiday vacation from NYU and homework to create a tour book for the South Bronx began by guns pulled out by cops behind squad cars. They yelled at me to drop a shoulder bag and lift my arms up. I was smashed against the back of a car and violently patted down by a white cop while others looked through personal items.

 

When he hit my crotch, I pushed him several feet with one hand. I turned and stared into the barrel of a gun held by a black cop whose nostrils flared like a bull about to charge and gore. There was an unearthly cold light of a stare from my mother’s other son, who, minutes before, had tried to kill me with Colt 45 malt liquor beer. Had the heavy bottle connected with my face, eyes would’ve been wrenched out of sockets, nose and teeth shattered in a gruesome death.  Possessed by the demon Schizophrenia inflamed by Crack, he had ran with an awful shriek to a coffee and donut shop on Prospect Avenue where he panicked police officers to believe I had a gun.

 

The way they roughed me up was nothing compared to my mother’s husband who belted me across my face and back when I was a boy. Torture started at the age of five when he yanked off my red towel used as a cape and dragged me to the bathroom. He slapped me once to wipe the look of bewilderment off my face. Then he lost control of his hand and blinded me with one rapid slap after the other. He hit so hard I didn’t feel anything. The beating stopped when an electrical current bolted up my spine and blood burst out of my nose. It’s been written that childhood is the kingdom of forever. It’s agonizing to go back in time to see the child I was fall to tiled floor like a marionette with cut strings.

 

I don’t remember death only night terrors of being pulled out of bed to be belted.

 

His son learned his father’s behavior so well he put me in a chokehold out of jealousies and later attempted mindless murder again that caused lacerations on my neck.

 

It’s hard to live in the real world that made me the captain of the USS Escapism.

 

Reality happened again when his father tried to drown me in the bathtub where I pretended to be Namor, the prince of Atlantis, a mutant from Marvel Comic Books.

 

Once upon a time, I felt the mystery of life when I went deep into the waters of Orchard Beach, the French Riviera of the Bronx. Unlike other kids, I could hold my breath longer and swam far for freedom like Cubans. Without my glasses, I saw people as points of colors on sands of time and myself washed up on the shores of a future free from abuse, free to evolve into someone who wanted to go where common sense was religion.

 

The oceans were near to flying in the heavens and second to the mystery of the human brain that could eventually figure out how to walk on water. Even though my mother is Catholic, I was never one of those kids that prayed to a crucified Jew who suffered after giving people Universal Health Care. I wanted to take The Son of God to the hospital and get Tetanus shots like me after I had stepped on a rusty nail that was hidden like a snake in the grass in Saint Mary’s Park where I romped in my Lone Ranger cowboy hat and silver cap guns, gifts from a merchant marine uncle who lived for the open seas.

 

This how my holiday vacation from school ended and homework resumed: red-faced cops handcuffed my mother’s and her husband’s son and took him to Lincoln Hospital.

 

I forgive them for they know not what they had done to me.

 

Merry Christmas, baby Jesus, and peace on Earth for children of all ages.

 

Amen.

 










 

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

All Our Yesterdays



 

An old stove leaked gas in an old kitchen.

 

I fixed it.

 

Three days before Thanksgiving Day, in the year of super storm Sandy that made many people lose homes to floods, the pipes of the sink burst in an apartment my mother had lived in since the last days of Watergate.

 

Then came a furious barrage of knocks on our door in the morning.

 

The new landlords told her to move to the other side of the building where long time residents were being concentrated. Democracy faded into the courtyard walls that were painted battleship gray or the gray across the waters called Riker’s Island Prison. We were practically shouted to move to one old apartment to another not rent stabilized. We were harassed constantly like being with sharks in a feeding frenzy in a small tank.

 

We had our bathtub removed for a week and a-half in the wintertime. For a month, we were cut off from the outside world when our mailbox was ripped from the wall. The tampering with Federal property happened two days after the landlords’ workmen saw a housing inspector in our humble home of broken windows and cracked ceilings that mirrored walls.  The official warned them not to barge in or else NYPD would be called.

 

Our complaints, added to a female US mail carrier, failed to motivate the landlord to fix the problems except to order the Salvadorian superintendent to knock on our door and dangled keys to another apartment devoid of stove and refrigerator.

 

Move in now and we’ll get them for you, I was told indifferently.

 

“Leave your furniture behind. I’m giving you bunk beds,” ordered a Dominican employee of Paradise Management. The last time I heard an offer of free bunk beds was in Schindler’s List, a movie that branded itself on my mind. I think of the scene where peoples’ belongings were thrown out of windows when our courtyard looked like the Fresh Kills landfill in Staten Island. We had to endure noises and smells of renovation on the building. We were surrounded by territorial strangers when the landlords brought in homeless families to charge the city 2, 800 $ per apartment.

 

My elderly mother pays 488.29.

 

Still a Dominican did promise 500 dollars if we moved quickly like the Indians that sold Manhattan for 24 dollars and trinkets. It was an offer better than the previous Italian landlords’ final solution of fixing the old building by soaking the rooftop with gasoline to collect on insurance money. Babies were spared by the intervention of Blue Angels.

 

Home is not far from Happy Land where over 80 human beings were burnt alive.

 

Across our bedroom windows, the Ortiz Funeral Home gets crowded with screams of those who lost loved ones. Where’s Jesus, a good Jewish lawyer?

 

On an eerily silent night, I opened the window and sensed a sickening light scent of cremation that drifted from the remains of the WTC.  It had lumbered miles on mild wind to remind us we are all connected as sure as the air we need to survive. 

 

I have a Ken Burns on the brain mentality.

 

“It was the worse of times…”

 

At an early age, I learned to tattoo words and watched them bleed in a paper garden of good and evil. The urban myth of hell was a real city of illegal guns and roses.  This is a mural for myself as well as afterimages of other dreamers. Optimism was our painkiller next to Saint Joseph’s Orange Favored Aspirin For Children.

 

When I was a boy, I carried Anne Frank while shadows of bullies and burnt-out buildings fell over us after school. At P.S 25, Mr. Marks, my white-haired English teacher, a grandfather figure slightly hunched with a burden of quiet grief, gave Anne to me to keep. “The torch has been passed on to a new generation,” said the country’s first Space Age president. This is my journal, an essay by images and painting by words.

 

Chapter 1: It was a dark and stormy night.

 

 “We don’t publish stories by minorities! Anything else,” a woman said before hanging up in a time of great prosperity for the country because of the newly invented Internet. I improvise with what she said like I did on golden trumpet in music class. Writing on old tech Word95&98 helped me recall a photographic memory in childhood. In an sixth grade English class at P.S 161, I made a wish to live life like a great novel, one that would read like the sci-fi of a great comic book.  It should be one that breaks the law that states there are no second acts in American lives and the lives of others around planet Earth. There are no great stories without heartbreak and no refunds for answered prayers.

 

I finally returned to my Fortress of Solitude where I saw Waiting For Super Man and Childhood’s End. This is The Hunt’s Point Public Library, a place of many endings and new beginnings. This is where I found The Lost Boys and A Winkle In Time. 

 

All Our Yesterdays, A To Z At The Library

 

This is the house of genius that helped me boldly go what I was vaguely dreaming of creating. This is a thanks for my mother who worked in a pen & pencil factory and drew my first smile. Now I fly in cyberspace and aspire to be like a mild-mannered reporter working at a great metropolitan newspaper. This story is really on finishing my homework assignment to make a tour book that draws the highlights of our town.

 

Truth, justice and the comic books!

 

Here’s to our public library in The South Bronx of America Where The Wild Things Are.

 

How To Pitch Nightmares To DreamWorks by Danny Aponte of P.S 161

 

The End and here comes sequel

 

I hope it’s great for you.

 




 





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